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hikikomori
Based on my own past experiences, I feel that even when I seek help from others, I am unable to receive it. Furthermore, when I gather my courage to consult with professionals, they dismiss it as overthinking and expect me to continue working, disregarding my illness or disability, leaving me cornered. Although what individuals like me are seeking is "help," since we are unable to obtain what we seek, we cannot trust anyone.
Miyauchi, Youth Coordinator 2023
I feel that many people believe they are worthless, that there's no point in living, and that if they enter society (due to their lack of abilities), they will be ridiculed or feel inferior. They think it's better to keep their opinions to themselves and hide them within their hearts.
Kazuhiko Horiuchi, Social Worker 2023
It is not a matter of reflection but more of a wish or desire, sometimes with a sense of time loops or reincarnation. It can involve everyday actions, childhood memories, or the thought that everyone feels at some point: "I should have studied more." When things are not going well in the present, they seek various reasons for it. However, they often struggle to turn such thoughts into positive actions, as they either suppress the notion of an irretrievable past, find it emotionally distressing to dwell on it, or face difficulties due to reasons similar to those mentioned in. Moreover, they often come to the realization that dwelling on what could have been better in the past does not resolve the current situation.
Magata, Youth Coordinator 2023
While it doesn't apply to everyone, many individuals tend to believe that they are worthless, incapable of accomplishing anything, and that they are unnecessary in society. I often sense that many people lack interest in society.
Chiaki Sakuraba, Career Consultant 2023
If they believed in the power to change society, they might not have become hikikomori. Japanese young people strongly feel that they need empathy and cooperation, and they are expected to do so. They may feel that it is impossible to change society without the use of magic and summons. However, they talk about "a society that accepts you."
mh, Career Consultant 2023
In many cases, families perceive social withdrawal as a "shame" and tend to conceal it. There are instances where one of the parents passes away, and despite efforts to seek help, such as through community support workers, the family refuses assistance, resulting in prolonged periods of social withdrawal. Many individuals express regrets about not being able to talk to someone other than their family at that time, or wish that their family had acted differently.
Yasuko Ishikawa, Career Consultant/Certified Psychologist 2023
Hikikomori people usually feel ashamed of themselves for not being able to go to school, work, or do anything useful while everyone else seems to enjoy life thus suffering from feelings of isolation, frustration, defeat, and low self-esteem. They feel they failed their parents and are rejected by the world, so in many cases they wish they could die or disappear.
Hikikomori people don’t usually think they can change the world. However, if they could, they would want a world where they are not considered a failure or loser even if they don’t ride laid-out rules but instead they get accepted for what they are.
Tamiko Morimoto, Family Counselor 2023
They don't have grand ambitions to change the world, but they hope for a world where they can be accepted as they are. They desire a society that understands their struggles, provides support, and allows them to live without fear of being mocked or laughed at. Their wish is to find a sense of belonging and the freedom to live in their own space. They don't have grand ambitions to change the world, but they hope for a world where they can be accepted as they are.
Hagihara, Career Consultant 2023
I didn't come across anyone with the energy or desire to change society. They find their current situation difficult, and imagining themselves three months from now is already overwhelming, making it challenging to envision a future or society beyond that. To be able to think in terms of "us" as a collective, it seems that they need the capacity to accept themselves and others (space for acceptance), the ability to articulate their experiences, and the realization that they are not alone. Only when they reach a point where they have accumulated enough energy in such a manner can they begin to think, "We want to change society for ourselves."
Suzuki, Career Consultant 2023
I often sense that many of them are
serious and sensitive individuals.
I think many of them wish there were
more options for different ways of living.
From those who come to seek advice,
I often hear that they wish they had sought help earlier.
Shimura, Youth Coordinator 2023
I feel that most people fall into a mix of extremes when it comes to self-perception: either believing that everything is their fault or believing that everything is the fault of others or society.
It seems challenging for them to find a middle ground.
I don't think they believe change is possible. Some individuals may say, "It would be great to continue living this way (without interacting with others)," but deep down, many of them have the latent desire to
engage with people skillfully and happily.
(Although there are a few exceptions who don't feel this way.)
I believe there are few people who reflect on what they could have done differently during their social withdrawal. Instead, they may think thoughts like "I wish I hadn't been born" or "I ended up this way because my parents told me to do this back then." These kinds of thoughts are more common among individuals facing social withdrawal.
Yamaguchi, Career Consultant 2023
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